The power of hot female legs
After watching the Vampire Diaries again last night and seeing Katherine Pierce’s endless legs, I thought I’d dedicate a post to honour the best and worst leg moments in the 21st Century!
“A girl’s legs are her best friend, but the best of friends must part.”— Redd Foxx
“Legs are sexy because they suspensefully lead up to the p***y.”— my brother
2010: Nina Dobrev in the Vampire Diaries as Katherine Pierce
Never in my life have I seen such a GORGEOUS LEG TAN on VAMPIRE who’s supposedly rotting away in a DARK TOMB. I love how the stylists from the Vampire Diaries throw in immaculate outfits for the most un-glamourous occasions: Katherine getting thrown into a tomb in this bombshell dress, Elena getting kidnapped in super-fab True Religion jeans. Caroline fed on humans when she first turned wearing super skinny jeans with heels- and Bonnie wears a fabulous leg-baring Pucci-esque dress for her witchy showdown with Lucy. This time, the skimpy lace dress shows off Katherine’s thighs at exactly the right places: just an inch below the crotch, no cellulite at all, but not so boney that the thighs are as big as the calves. Basically: go for whatever you want, but only eat half, and drink plenty of human blood.
2009: Any red-carpet event where Blake Lively is present
Since this 5”11 blond barbie bursted on the scene as the ever-slutty Serena van der Woodsen, whose plot mainly involves sleeping with every Upper-East side millionaires and every other girl’s boyfriends— her unapologetically high hemline is definately what put her on the map. You can’t miss it at any red carpet event: the Emmy’s, the Oscars, the Met Gala— she will give us what she promised: a view of her long, tanned, well-proportioned legs (and probably some clevage). No wonder people call her Boobs Legsly. So, really, go for a run every other day :)
2008: Any full-length photo of Miranda Kerr
Her thighs ARE as big as her calves. Isn’t it just fabulous?! I’m not sure how our David Jones girl managed to strike such a big pose in Louboutins (yes, the soles are red!) after having not much to eat for breakfast other than a glass of water and an apple and with no ass. So, to get this look: keep servings smaller than the size of your palm.
2003-present: Any concerts, music videos or photos of Beyonce
For some reason, Beyonce is the ONLY GIRL IN THE WORLD who can get away with thunder thighs (or as conservatives would say: a bottom-heavy body)- and she makes her billions with it by incessantly showing them off and jiggling them in every fast-paced song (I can honestly say not one of her songs did not advertise her juicy legs). But there’s so much make-up and oil on that body her skin is literally reflecting light like the girls in spandex behind her. Ewww. Point is: if you got a juicy booty- match it with your personality.
WORST LEG MOMENTS
200X: Mischa after getting ran over by a car in the OC
She looks cute here, but come on sweetie— JEGGINGS?? At least shop around the maternity store for some subtle boot cut jeans to fool a few people. That’s what Marissa would have done!
2010: Rihanna in the “Rude Boy” video
Are her legs STILL insured for a million dollars each after all the “OMG Chris hit me” emotional eating she took a break from her work? This is a leg disaster purely because the stylist was blind for choosing over-the-knee-high boots and pairing it with such a revealing combo: the fat supply from her leg is spilling over the thight boots. No wonder why they’re worth a million— they can feed people!
At the end of the day, we get the legs we’re born with. And whether you like it or not, everyone has their genetic limits. The most important thing is to shape AND style them towards their very best version and use them towards your advantage.
It’s ONE thing women have over men. The power of hot female legs.
